Life is not a fairytale—it plays funny games in unfortunate ways. At some point in time. Be it your forever person, your mentor, your best friend or even the love of your life—goodbyes suck big time!
Some people enter into a relationship for a defined period, but when they have to part ways, it leaves years of pain behind. Letting go of your soul mate is extremely painful.
It’s not just about a person, but about all those memories and future planning that turns into impossibility. It’s because of the beautiful times spent together, crazy fights, understanding each other and even supporting in the time of need.
All of it makes it almost the hardest thing on earth to leave someone. To bid them goodbye!
The one who meant the world to you, who changed your life, who taught you how to live, the one who was always there for you and without whom you could never imagine your life—is going to leave your life for good? Even the thought of it is scary!
Surely, it’s quite difficult to let go of the most valuable people in your life. You have to be sure about your decision and then take action. We have gathered some ways which might help you in letting go of your soul mate. Keep reading!
1: Take time to picture your ideal person and then point out flaws in your ex
We all wish to marry the man or woman of our dreams, but wait! Have we even defined how our ideal should be? Without knowing what qualities you desire in your future partner, how can you decide if he or she is suitable for you or not?
All these matters are important to help you find the right person. No one is perfect neither we expect them to be. What you can do is make a list of the top most priorities you see in your partner—the most important characteristics. Of course, not everyone is lucky enough to find their partner exactly the way they define the criteria. Nothing to worry about.
This outline will help you in comparing the qualities of your ex and the one you are expecting to share your future with. It might turn out to be even better than your expectations. You never know!
2: Surround yourself with others
If you think the world has ended just because of a single person, you might need to look broader. Try to be with people who make you feel good and understand you. True friends are the ultimate support.
3: Forgive before forget
If you don’t forgive someone, do you think forgetting is possible without having to forgive them? It’s not the case! Rather it’s the first step towards forgetting someone. If you don’t forgive someone, you are not forgiving yourself.
This way we stay involved in thinking of ways how to ignore them or delay forgiveness. Trust me or not, the happiest person is the one who forgives. It helps you the most in forgetting that person.
4: Have a positive approach
Even if things seem impossible, thinking it in a positive way makes them work out. Just a positive thought and you wouldn’t regret this approach of yours. You must stand out in a crowd!
5: Meeting new people
Meeting new people help you find different ways to feel better or even get the old you back. Give your soul another chance to be loved. It’s not necessary that you have to fall in love the way you did before, but a little step towards affection could help you go a long way—maybe even satisfy you enough!
People usually meet, and within a week they’re together in a relationship. Such kind of relationships doesn’t really work out. Therefore, this time you should be careful and make sure you go slowly to make the journey last longer.
6: Take as much time you need
You might have heard about this saying that time is the best healer. Some agree with it while others just disagree. The one who is suffering gets frustrated when someone tells them that time heals all wounds.
However, when time passes, things get entirely different than they once were. New people, new perspectives. It doesn’t mean that you forget your past with time, it’s just that you get used to of the pain and learn to manage it.
So, giving yourself enough time is not a bad idea. It helps in making you accept the reality and gather enough patience to face the world.
7: Love yourself first
Try to place a sticky note wherever possible that says, “Loving yourself means letting go”. What it does is, whenever you felt low on life, simply revise the lesson that you can’t love someone until you love yourself. Therefore, learn to love yourself first and then expect someone to love you.
8: Be yourself
In search of your true love, somewhere down the line, you forgot yourself!
You changed as a person and the way you viewed life. Love destroys the sense of selfishness. One becomes completely selfless and devoted to their love. However, when they have to leave them, it hits them so hard that they change as a person.
Therefore, try to find out the old empowered single self of yours. You have got another chance to be yourself again!
9: Focus on changing things
What happened in the past can’t be changed neither be brought back. However, if you really feel like changing something then focus on things which can be amended. Just like changing the way you think about life, changing your environment or even changing you future outlook. This really helps a lot!
10: Be clear about why you should remain apart
At some point in time, you may feel that it was a wrong decision made and you guys were perfect enough to be together. But you should know the reason you both broke up in the first place and why you shouldn’t get back together. These questions will help you a lot in staying focused and not getting distracted.
Sure it’s tough to control your emotions when you have the opportunity to go back. Keeping them aside, you must clear your mind about why you need to let go and move on. If you do not make your intentions clear to yourself, it is likely that you end up doing something which you shouldn’t have. So be sure about it!
11: Small acts of acceptance
If you succeed in deleting all those romantic emails and messages, you deserve to treat yourself! Go out with your friends or get a spa treatment. It will help you in normalizing the after effect of doing so.
12: Be kind
Letting go is much easier when you’re honest and kind. Telling the truth to the person you’re about to leave will not make you regret ever. Rather you would be satisfied after saying all what you had to say.
13: Replace emotional thoughts with facts
Whenever your mind comes across the thought that you won’t even be loved again or something discouraging of that sort, simply swap it. Replace that thought with a factual thought. Be it about your new accomplishment or some task undone.
14: Distract yourself
Adopting a busier lifestyle is never a bad idea. By doing so, you’d be having so much to do in lesser time. By indulging in yourself in your favorite activities, job and exercise, you wouldn’t get time to even think about yourself. This is one of the best solutions of letting go easily.