More than 53% of women between the age of 18 and 45 are single, according to research by CNN.
Are these women choosing to remain single or are they being forced into it?
I know most of you have already jumped to a conclusion, and that is:
There is a man shortage sweeping the world!
Straight women have no option but to accept their fate of a life without the Mr. Right.
I don’t blame you, because many theorists are actively pursuing the same idea, claiming that the real reason behind most girls’ singlehood is a worldwide man deficit.
Jon Birger pointed out in his research, Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game that there are currently 5.5 million female college graduates between the age of 22 and 29 against 4.1 million college educated men in the US. Thus the inevitable – men have more than one option for sexual partners, which is why the lack of commitment is on the rise.
Well this sounds interesting. But did it cross your mind that maybe more women were choosing to get educated and finish college than their male counterparts? And as they rise on the economic graph, they might not need men any longer?Pepper Schwartz who is a sociology professor at the University of Washington points out towards a cultural shift. A woman’s life choices are not constrained to a degree they were decades ago. Women today have more negotiating power. They don’t have to get married just because they want to be perceived by the society in a certain way to gain acceptability. Most women still want to get married, but they want it on their terms.
So the answer to why more women are choosing to remain single is fairly simple: It is not because there are not enough men left to marry. It is because they are choosing not to marry the ones left.
Most working women would agree that the more successful they become, the guys they are in a relationship with start to get put off. This is unfortunate but true for most of us. An ambitious woman is a direct threat to
masculinity. Why? Because masculinity is a concept built on socially defined factors that see men at the top. An independent woman is a direct threat to their masculinity and status. As the women rise, men automatically
start to feel inferior. However, it should be the other way round, where the man should acknowledge his woman’s strengths and celebrate her success.
If we take the US as an example, there are 50.08% females compared to 49.2% males. Now I know you will jump back to the idea of male shortage as discussed earlier, and you should. But before doing so, think about what I am about to say. When there is an imbalance in the gender ratio, the gender with the lower ratio gets the higher value, according to theorists. Confused? Let me explain it for you. The gender with the lower ratio becomes a minority and works harder to prove itself. And thus becomes a hot commodity. However, if we look at the stats, the women who are in the majority have continued to perform better than their male counterparts. Women refuse to settle for most men who show disinterest in working towards better goals, and precisely why they don’t get married.
It sounds harsh, but it’s true! Women have never had so many options before in history. Instead of sitting on a couch waiting for their husband to return home, they can go out and explore the world. A lot of things that we as women take for granted today were not available to our elders. Women today can travel the world, choose to study whatever they want, take part in sports and most importantly choose not to marry.
Do you know in 2010, there were more women than men in the workforce in the US. The number and trend of women actively pursuing career goals have been on the rise ever since. It might also surprise you that women have been earning more degrees in bachelors, masters, and doctorate than men since 2013. The top fields in which women have excelled are medicine and law. The majority of women are now replacing men at the senior most positions.
So a woman of today does not necessarily need a husband. She might want to have one, but her expectations have dramatically risen. Losing on her finances as a result of being in a relationship is a hard choice many women are choosing not to make. A husband equally driven and successful could mean compromise with her career goals. In case the husband is earning lower could lead to resentment. This is why it is becoming harder for her to fall for someone who is compatible with her career plan. Most women prefer to weigh out their options before deciding whether they want to get hitched in the first place.
This sums it up for everyone. Women have excelled in every field and continue to rise above the expectations. In the journey of self-growth, she has discovered a power in her so big, that she has become fearless. She is not scared anymore of how she will survive if the Mr. Right does not come to her doorstep. She is bright, independent and bold. She is a go-getter, and if she wants a husband, she will surely find one!
Women traditionally got married for stability. But in the recent years, we have witnessed rising joblessness in men. The lack of financial stability has significantly resulted in a steep decline in life prospects for men. Consequently, the romantic market has suffered, ending up in its own biggest depression. Women, on the other hand, have to choose between a playboy and a boy she has to babysit. Most women prefer being single than having a husband who does not work. Many men who don’t have jobs are not much help around the house either. So having them puts additional pressure at the ladies.
Hook-ups and casual relationships have been the biggest blow to the foundation of marriage. After 1960’s, as birth control options became more accessible, young adults began to enjoy more sexual liberation. The concept of hook-ups, where two people get into only brief sexual encounters without any romantic affiliations started to become an easy way out for both genders. As the media and technology grew after 1920’s, the younger generation got an opportunity to explore sexuality and casual relationships without their parent’s watchful eye. Today, having sexual relationships without getting married or a traditional commitment is increasingly becoming socially acceptable across cultures. This new tradition presents an opportunity for women who don’t want to compromise their careers. On the darker side, dating apps are promoting casual relationships, replacing real commitment and making people view marriage as a setback.
Many women today are beginning to see marriage as old fashioned. Many are starting to grow out of the idea of big church weddings and designer gowns that make you end up in debts for the rest of your life. Women are
becoming more practical with their decisions, and most people can’t handle it. Before getting into the relationship, women now tend to evaluate their resources logically. It’s more than just true love. And They lived
happily ever after was just an illusion created by storytellers in the media. Women today realize that real life starts from where the romantic flick ends.
Do you know today 40% of babies are born to women who are single mothers? The world has changed so much over the past 20 years that we might have not even realized. This number is expected to rise further. The stigma attached to single mothers is going to become weaker and who knows disappear with time. The technology has a lot to do with it. With medical advances, a woman can have a baby with a short trip to the sperm bank. On the other hand, the option of working from home is allowing single women to plan children without a husband to take care of their financial concerns.
You can do better!
Women are tired of this one phase.
The idea of marrying up is flawed, and women of today know it. In earlier times, when a woman wanted to raise her status, she would marry up. Today, women are not bound to men to socially justify their standing. The right and access to education has liberated women in so many ways. Women are equipped to take care of themselves and their families without the help of their husbands. So when she decides to marry one, she has to be completely sure of it. Otherwise why even bother.